rainbow vs beige

13 Sep 2010

a letter to boys.

dear boy,

i know you don't like being alone, but it really frustrates me when couples are together when they probably shouldn't be.

i'm not sure what possessed you to complain about your girlfriend to me, but i don't like hearing about it. it's disrespectful to your girlfriend and to your relationship.

please grow some balls and talk to your girlfriend. i know you don't like conflict and hurting feelings because it makes you feel like an arsehole, but if you were honest we'd respect you more.

i'm not sure why you insist on being with girls you complain about and aren't 100% happy to be with. stop choosing beige girls and wait until you meet a rainbow girl. you'll be a lot happier. and i won't have to listen to you complaining because you'll actually be happy.

love, me.

“Life is like a box of crayons. Most people are the 8-color boxes, but what you're really looking for are the 64-color boxes with the sharpeners on the back. I fancy myself to be a 64-color box, though I've got a few missing. It's ok though, because I've got some more vibrant colors like periwinkle at my disposal. I have a bit of a problem though in that I can only meet the 8-color boxes. Does anyone else have that problem? I mean there are so many different colors of life, of feeling, of articulation... so when I meet someone who's an 8-color type... I'm like, "hey girl, magenta!" and she's like, "oh, you mean purple!" and she goes off on her purple thing, and I'm like, "no - I want magenta!"”
- John Mayer


  1. You tell him presh! i LOVE you as a rainbow x

  2. Maybe I should have specified that it's an open letter. Boys (plural) like to do this to me!

  3. I don't know how anyone thinks that complaining about their partner to someone else is constructive. Like maybe if you've got some problems with your partner and you ask a friend to help you with how to approach those problems, that makes sense. Just outright complaining and not making any effort to fix whatever you're complaining about - god, grow up already.

    I like Dr Petra Boynton's take on dating: http://www.drpetra.co.uk/blog/ten-steps-for-successful-dating
    The relevant part being the emphasis on not just dating because you don't want to be single - that's just not constructive.
    "It’s also worth considering what a relationship isn’t. It is not free therapy, a means of revenge on an ex, something to keep your family off your back, or something to fill time while you’re waiting for someone you really fancy to come along."

    Oh Dr Petra, I heart you. She's so intelligent and informed. I recommend her blog - she's deeply involved in sex education, relationship research, etc., and is a big advocate of sex education at school involving discussions of how to deal emotionally with a relationship, how to communicate, etc. It's kind of amazing how we're just expected to know what a healthy relationship is and how to establish one, but it's clear that a lot of people really don't know, and that relationships and the well-being of the people involved suffer because of it.

  4. "Sometimes fear of rejection or worries over a relationship going wrong can lead to us giving mixed messages or not being clear about what we want. Again it’s worth thinking carefully about what impression we may be giving before we go dating so you can give clear signals to those you want to attract."

    That's just so good.


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